Caring Without Giving It All Your Energy
A friend said something this week that I was relieved to hear. She cares so much about what’s happening in the world and has spent a lot of time staying informed and speaking up about the things she believes in, but she’s been questioning how much of her time and energy she wants to spend focused on the fight, especially if it means she isn’t fully present for her life here.
It reminded me of a presentation I gave for Democrats Abroad a while back, based on a session Shirzad Chamine did for Positive Intelligence coaches about navigating challenging times. There were a few ideas from that presentation that feel especially relevant right now.
Anger, guilt, sadness, and outrage all have a purpose. They get our attention and alert us to something wrong, but staying in those emotions for too long can make it harder to see anything except what’s wrong, and they stop being useful. That outrage can turn into tunnel vision. If I feel guilt that I’m not doing enough about every awful thing happening in the world, I’m exhausted. If I become convinced that nothing I do will make any difference anyway, I’m less likely to do anything at all.
Shirzad also talks about the negativity we can spread without realizing it. We can be so angry that we create, “negative contagion,” by bringing that outrage into our conversations and interactions. That doesn’t mean we stop caring or excuse behavior we strongly disagree with. It means asking whether staying angry is actually helping us respond productively.
Choosing Where to Put Your Energy
Another idea from that session was being proactive rather than reactive. It’s so easy to let the media decide what gets our attention. There is always another headline, another terrible thing someone said, another crisis that suddenly feels like the most important thing happening in the world. We can spend enormous amounts of time and energy moving from one outrage to the next and lose sight of the deeper, systemic problems.
If there’s an issue that is especially important to you, maybe that’s where you want to put more of your energy. Learn more about it, donate, volunteer, support organizations already doing the work, have useful conversations, or find some other way to contribute.
I’m not saying we should stop paying attention to the news. If following things closely helps you stay informed and leads you to action you care about, that’s great, but I do think it’s worth asking ourselves occasionally:
Reflection Question: Is the way I’m engaging with what’s happening in the world helping me do something useful, or is it mostly keeping me angry and anxious?
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✨ If this spoke to you, I’d love for you to subscribe to my blog or connect with me on LinkedIn. And if you’re struggling to stay engaged with what matters to you without feeling consumed by everything happening around you, coaching and mental fitness tools can help you find a healthier balance between caring, acting, and protecting your own energy.
