Choosing Peace Over Perfection
This time of year (which I genuinely adore) has always been a mix of pure joy and running myself into the ground. I loved the lights, the magic, the relaxed days at work, making cookies and Chex Mix with my kids, and watching our stack of holiday movies.
But I was also dealing with a whole lot of self-imposed pressure. December became a race to make everything perfect. Planning and buying gifts for both sides, doing all the work for a holiday card no one else in my house cared about, visiting multiple families in a day.
Working extra hours so I could take time off with my kids. Living through the first holidays after losing my parents and sticking around out of obligation when I wanted to be anywhere but home. Year-end reviews. It was exhausting, and it didn’t have to be.
The Mental Load of December
December has a way of piling on. So many friends and clients I know approach December feeling some combination of tired, anxious, or just overwhelmed.
They are often the one who notices what everyone needs, keeps the calendar straight, plans the gifts, handles the food, and tries to create something meaningful for everyone. Others might be happy to help when asked, but the thinking part, the remembering part, that lives with them.
Loving Yourself Unconditionally
How many of us can truly say we have deep love for ourselves with no strings attached. Many of us believe we need to do more or achieve more before we are worthy of that kind of love. We need to get the degree, get the promotion, get the partner, save this much money.
On top of that, we often take that self-criticism or impossible standards and apply it to others. And we see that pattern in the people around us too.
If the world feels short on empathy, maybe the place to start is with ourselves.
The Wise Inner Voice
There are moments when my mind starts spinning over the smallest things. A detail that isn’t right. A message that didn’t sound how I meant it. A conversation I replay again and again, wishing I’d said something differently.
It’s easy to lose perspective in those moments, especially if, like me, you lean toward perfectionism. The desire to get things right can quickly turn into an urgency that doesn’t match the reality of what’s happening.
Responding Instead of Absorbing
There are moments when someone you care about is upset: a partner, a friend, a family member, and before you realize it, their emotion has become yours.
It starts small. A heaviness or tightness in your chest, a sense of resistance or overwhelm creeping in. If it’s intense, maybe even a tension in your gut or a flicker of anxiety.
You want to help. You want to listen with empathy. But somewhere along the way, you begin to carry their feelings as if they were your own.
Where Acceptance Meets Action
There are moments when life hands us something we didn’t ask for. A shocking turn of events, a disappointment, a door we thought would stay open.
Our first instinct is to resist it, make it make sense, or look for someone or something to blame.
I’ve done that plenty of times. It’s part of being human. The mind wants stability, a plan, a reason. But not everything can be fixed or forced to go our way.
Stuck in the Chaos
There are moments in life when you know something has to change, but you can’t quite see how.
You feel helpless, restless, or quietly resentful. You tell yourself to be grateful, yet deep down, something feels off.
Resilient Mind: Creating Calm in the Chaos
I’ve been talking to a lot of people lately. Between my business, newcomers finding their way in Seville, and random coincidences that seem to bring people into my path, I’ve had countless conversations.
What’s clear is that the toll of living in today’s world is real. There are prejudices to confront, life changes to endure, and emotions running high everywhere.
Every Current Carries Us Somewhere New
Over the past few months, I’ve written about the in-between, the transitions throughout our lives that challenge us and shape us.
From leaving home and first-time parenting to empty nesting, changing careers, or becoming a caretaker, these shake-ups can make us feel like our world has turned upside down.
We experience identity loss or confusion, frustration, shame, and fear. Yet our lives are made of change and growth. This is how we fully experience being human, how we come to know ourselves more deeply.
What Our Relationships Teach Us About Ourselves
Every partnership is made up of two people doing the best they know how, shaped by the stories and survival strategies of their childhoods and lived experiences.
For some, safety meant avoiding conflict, staying quiet, not rocking the boat.
For others, safety meant speaking up, taking control, or fighting back.
Neither is wrong. They’re strengths that once kept us safe.
But over time, those same strategies of perfectionism, avoidance, control, people-pleasing can quietly sabotage our relationships.
When You Become the Parent
When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my world turned upside down. I found myself stepping into a role I never expected so soon.
It was subtle at first, helping with appointments, asking the questions they didn’t or couldn’t. And then it became more: caretaking, advocating, carrying the weight of decisions I didn’t feel ready to make, embodying strength at all costs, protecting her peace.
When Your Body Changes the Rules
My earliest memories of health are of feeling different.
My digestive system never worked the way it seemed to for everyone else, and it wasn’t until later that I realized how many of us have quiet struggles that go unseen.
When is Enough Enough?
There were jobs I stayed in longer than I wanted to.
Not because I loved them, but because they gave our family stability. I knew how lucky I was to have work that paid the bills. But even when I felt grateful, I also felt a longing to do something meaningful, worthy of my time away from home.
I Thought I Was Prepared
I always wanted to be a mom.
I married young, finished my undergraduate degree, and then decided to start a family while working on my graduate degree. Having a family was incredibly important to me, and I was lucky enough to get pregnant easily.
I was beyond excited. I read all the books, did all the planning. I wanted a natural birth, didn’t find out the gender, and that big baby boy surprised me a few days early.
Then, the terror set in.
Not Everyone Is Meant to Go With You
Friendships shift. Sometimes they fade quietly. Other times they end abruptly, and the loneliness that follows can feel more intense than we expected.
Like most adults, I’ve experienced this many times in life.
When we moved, I felt the loss of closeness and familiarity. I missed the ease and history with the people who had been by my side for years. At the same time, I was grateful to find new friendships, with people from all over the world, of different ages and backgrounds. Rich and meaningful connections.
And still, sometimes I miss what I had before.
When the House Goes Quiet
No matter when it happens, that moment when the house goes quiet hits hard.
For some, it is happening now. For others, it happened years ago, and the feelings still live in their bones.
A few years ago, both of our sons left for university. Nine hours away. At the same time.
I knew it was coming. I had time to prepare. But about two weeks before they left, something broke open in me.
I couldn’t stop crying. Everything felt dark and heavy. I couldn’t be on camera at work because my face showed it all.
The anticipation, for me, was worse than the reality.
When You Uproot Everything
Not all of us will walk the same path, but the feelings that come with change (fear, grief, identity shifts) are universal.
Moving abroad was one of the most courageous and terrifying things I’ve ever done.
It was a rollercoaster of emotions. Excitement, dread, pride, guilt, and so much fear, all tangled together.
The Space Between Who You Were and Who You're Becoming
You thought you had it figured out.
You’ve always had a good head on your shoulders. You know who you are. You’ve handled hard things before. You’ve been the strong one, the steady one, the one who makes a plan and lands on her feet smiling.
But this time, the ground feels uneven.
This transition, whatever it is, feels different.
Maybe you’re more emotional than you expected.
Maybe your usual clarity feels clouded.
Maybe the version of you that once fit… doesn’t anymore.
From Overwhelmed to Empowered
Insight is incredible, but it’s action that creates real change. Sometimes the first action is simple: celebration.
If you’ve been following this series, take a moment to breathe. Look at what you’ve already done.
You’ve named invisible burdens.
You’ve questioned guilt.
You’ve claimed your desires.
You’ve softened your inner critic.
You’ve spoken your truth.
That is not small. That is deep, brave work.
𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗔𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲
For a long time, I believed being a good friend or co-worker meant being accommodating.
Being dependable meant saying yes.
Being kind meant never pushing back.
I’ll admit, I’ve been steamrolled more than once.
I’m fully capable of standing up for myself, but for years, I didn’t do it well. Not early enough. Not clearly enough. Not until I was pushed to the edge.