Self-Trust in Practice
I’m writing this from my layover in Istanbul.
I thought I might cry when I walked out the door, but honestly, I’m just so excited, and I know the time will fly by. The train derailment so close to home has been shocking and puts everything into perspective. It’s also made me feel extra grateful and really loved by everyone who wanted to see my face one more time, and by all the care and concern for my safety.
Per usual, the anticipation was worse than the reality. I had a few nights with very little sleep, but now I feel calm and capable. Most of all, I feel grateful.
Choosing Indepedence and Self-Trust
Starting next week, I’ll be traveling through Asia for what I’m calling my Coaching Connections field study because, this year, I’m choosing more independence and a little more self-trust.
I first had this idea back in July, and it’s been staying with me. The timing feels right. The in-person trainings I’ll lead this year haven’t started yet, and life has a bit more space than it usually does. On a deeper level, I feel genuinely drawn to the places I’m visiting.
I want more independence this year, not just emotionally, but in how I build my life and work. One of my words of the year is visibility, and I’m excited to meet new people, have real conversations, and see how the themes I hear from clients translate across cultures. And I hope I might get to help a few people along the way.
You’re Not Behind
If you already feel behind, you’re not.
And if it feels strange that the year has already jumped ahead with plans, bookings, and expectations, you’re not alone in that either. For some people, it feels like we skipped right over the end of the year and went straight into what’s next.
I’m hearing a mix of things right now. Financial worries. Obligations people don’t really want. Guilt about resolutions they haven’t even started. And at the same time, some real excitement about new possibilities.
Beginning the New Year Feeling Lighter
The days between the end of one year and the start of another can feel strange.
You often feel this pressure to figure out what you want, what you’ll change, who you’ll be next.
But you don’t actually need resolutions, and you don’t need to reinvent yourself on day one (who can live up to that kind of pressure?!).
Sometimes the most helpful thing is just noticing what you’re ready to leave behind.
Closing the Year Peacefully
By mid-December, we’ve usually started looking back on the year and taking inventory. For me, that reflection has often come with self-judgment.
When I worked in corporate roles, this was the time to write my year-end self-assessment. By the end of it, I usually acknowledged my accomplishments were significant and felt pride.
But I also found myself fixating on what I didn’t finish, where I could have done things differently, or where I thought I should be by now.
Choosing Peace Over Perfection
This time of year (which I genuinely adore) has always been a mix of pure joy and running myself into the ground. I loved the lights, the magic, the relaxed days at work, making cookies and Chex Mix with my kids, and watching our stack of holiday movies.
But I was also dealing with a whole lot of self-imposed pressure. December became a race to make everything perfect. Planning and buying gifts for both sides, doing all the work for a holiday card no one else in my house cared about, visiting multiple families in a day.
Working extra hours so I could take time off with my kids. Living through the first holidays after losing my parents and sticking around out of obligation when I wanted to be anywhere but home. Year-end reviews. It was exhausting, and it didn’t have to be.
The Mental Load of December
December has a way of piling on. So many friends and clients I know approach December feeling some combination of tired, anxious, or just overwhelmed.
They are often the one who notices what everyone needs, keeps the calendar straight, plans the gifts, handles the food, and tries to create something meaningful for everyone. Others might be happy to help when asked, but the thinking part, the remembering part, that lives with them.
Loving Yourself Unconditionally
How many of us can truly say we have deep love for ourselves with no strings attached. Many of us believe we need to do more or achieve more before we are worthy of that kind of love. We need to get the degree, get the promotion, get the partner, save this much money.
On top of that, we often take that self-criticism or impossible standards and apply it to others. And we see that pattern in the people around us too.
If the world feels short on empathy, maybe the place to start is with ourselves.
The Wise Inner Voice
There are moments when my mind starts spinning over the smallest things. A detail that isn’t right. A message that didn’t sound how I meant it. A conversation I replay again and again, wishing I’d said something differently.
It’s easy to lose perspective in those moments, especially if, like me, you lean toward perfectionism. The desire to get things right can quickly turn into an urgency that doesn’t match the reality of what’s happening.
Responding Instead of Absorbing
There are moments when someone you care about is upset: a partner, a friend, a family member, and before you realize it, their emotion has become yours.
It starts small. A heaviness or tightness in your chest, a sense of resistance or overwhelm creeping in. If it’s intense, maybe even a tension in your gut or a flicker of anxiety.
You want to help. You want to listen with empathy. But somewhere along the way, you begin to carry their feelings as if they were your own.
Where Acceptance Meets Action
There are moments when life hands us something we didn’t ask for. A shocking turn of events, a disappointment, a door we thought would stay open.
Our first instinct is to resist it, make it make sense, or look for someone or something to blame.
I’ve done that plenty of times. It’s part of being human. The mind wants stability, a plan, a reason. But not everything can be fixed or forced to go our way.
Stuck in the Chaos
There are moments in life when you know something has to change, but you can’t quite see how.
You feel helpless, restless, or quietly resentful. You tell yourself to be grateful, yet deep down, something feels off.
Resilient Mind: Creating Calm in the Chaos
I’ve been talking to a lot of people lately. Between my business, newcomers finding their way in Seville, and random coincidences that seem to bring people into my path, I’ve had countless conversations.
What’s clear is that the toll of living in today’s world is real. There are prejudices to confront, life changes to endure, and emotions running high everywhere.
Every Current Carries Us Somewhere New
Over the past few months, I’ve written about the in-between, the transitions throughout our lives that challenge us and shape us.
From leaving home and first-time parenting to empty nesting, changing careers, or becoming a caretaker, these shake-ups can make us feel like our world has turned upside down.
We experience identity loss or confusion, frustration, shame, and fear. Yet our lives are made of change and growth. This is how we fully experience being human, how we come to know ourselves more deeply.
What Our Relationships Teach Us About Ourselves
Every partnership is made up of two people doing the best they know how, shaped by the stories and survival strategies of their childhoods and lived experiences.
For some, safety meant avoiding conflict, staying quiet, not rocking the boat.
For others, safety meant speaking up, taking control, or fighting back.
Neither is wrong. They’re strengths that once kept us safe.
But over time, those same strategies of perfectionism, avoidance, control, people-pleasing can quietly sabotage our relationships.
When You Become the Parent
When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my world turned upside down. I found myself stepping into a role I never expected so soon.
It was subtle at first, helping with appointments, asking the questions they didn’t or couldn’t. And then it became more: caretaking, advocating, carrying the weight of decisions I didn’t feel ready to make, embodying strength at all costs, protecting her peace.
When Your Body Changes the Rules
My earliest memories of health are of feeling different.
My digestive system never worked the way it seemed to for everyone else, and it wasn’t until later that I realized how many of us have quiet struggles that go unseen.
When is Enough Enough?
There were jobs I stayed in longer than I wanted to.
Not because I loved them, but because they gave our family stability. I knew how lucky I was to have work that paid the bills. But even when I felt grateful, I also felt a longing to do something meaningful, worthy of my time away from home.
I Thought I Was Prepared
I always wanted to be a mom.
I married young, finished my undergraduate degree, and then decided to start a family while working on my graduate degree. Having a family was incredibly important to me, and I was lucky enough to get pregnant easily.
I was beyond excited. I read all the books, did all the planning. I wanted a natural birth, didn’t find out the gender, and that big baby boy surprised me a few days early.
Then, the terror set in.
Not Everyone Is Meant to Go With You
Friendships shift. Sometimes they fade quietly. Other times they end abruptly, and the loneliness that follows can feel more intense than we expected.
Like most adults, I’ve experienced this many times in life.
When we moved, I felt the loss of closeness and familiarity. I missed the ease and history with the people who had been by my side for years. At the same time, I was grateful to find new friendships, with people from all over the world, of different ages and backgrounds. Rich and meaningful connections.
And still, sometimes I miss what I had before.