When the House Goes Quiet
No matter when it happens, that moment when the house goes quiet hits hard.
For some, it is happening now. For others, it happened years ago, and the feelings still live in their bones.
A few years ago, both of our sons left for university. Nine hours away. At the same time.
I knew it was coming. I had time to prepare. But about two weeks before they left, something broke open in me.
I couldn’t stop crying. Everything felt dark and heavy. I couldn’t be on camera at work because my face showed it all.
The anticipation, for me, was worse than the reality.
When You Uproot Everything
Not all of us will walk the same path, but the feelings that come with change (fear, grief, identity shifts) are universal.
Moving abroad was one of the most courageous and terrifying things I’ve ever done.
It was a rollercoaster of emotions. Excitement, dread, pride, guilt, and so much fear, all tangled together.
The Space Between Who You Were and Who You're Becoming
You thought you had it figured out.
You’ve always had a good head on your shoulders. You know who you are. You’ve handled hard things before. You’ve been the strong one, the steady one, the one who makes a plan and lands on her feet smiling.
But this time, the ground feels uneven.
This transition, whatever it is, feels different.
Maybe you’re more emotional than you expected.
Maybe your usual clarity feels clouded.
Maybe the version of you that once fit… doesn’t anymore.
From Overwhelmed to Empowered
Insight is incredible, but it’s action that creates real change. Sometimes the first action is simple: celebration.
If you’ve been following this series, take a moment to breathe. Look at what you’ve already done.
You’ve named invisible burdens.
You’ve questioned guilt.
You’ve claimed your desires.
You’ve softened your inner critic.
You’ve spoken your truth.
That is not small. That is deep, brave work.
𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗔𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲
For a long time, I believed being a good friend or co-worker meant being accommodating.
Being dependable meant saying yes.
Being kind meant never pushing back.
I’ll admit, I’ve been steamrolled more than once.
I’m fully capable of standing up for myself, but for years, I didn’t do it well. Not early enough. Not clearly enough. Not until I was pushed to the edge.
Quieting the Inner Critic
I have a strong inner critic.
The judge in my mind is quick, especially when it comes to me.
I’m a perfectionist. A pleaser. A bit of a controller too. For a long time, I thought those traits were just part of being responsible.
But they also kept me tense, hyper-aware, and endlessly self-critical.
𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐔𝐩 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞: 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩
It’s possible to have a kind, helpful partner and still feel completely alone.
Many women carry an invisible emotional load. They manage the logistics, the moods, the unspoken needs. They smooth the edges, hold the pieces, and silently wonder why they feel so depleted.
From the outside, nothing looks wrong. Which makes it even harder to explain the loneliness.
But you don’t have to explain it to the outside world. This is your life. Your truth. Not theirs.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰
I used to be an expert at feeling guilt. Not just for the big things, but for everything.
Silly things I said as a kid. Mistakes I made decades ago. Sometimes even with people who aren’t here anymore.
Guilt was my constant companion. For a long time, I thought it made me responsible, caring, good.
But it also made me exhausted. It kept me stuck in cycles of over-apologizing, over-giving, and over-functioning. It whispered, “You should be doing more” or “You shouldn’t have said that.”
Self-Care Isn’t a Bubble Bath
Most of the women I work with don’t need another candle. What they really need is permission to rest without guilt.
They need space to hear themselves think.
They need support that doesn’t add to their already overloaded to-do list.
I often hear women say, “I don’t even have time for self-care.” And I get it.
But here’s the truth: self-care isn’t a time block on your calendar. It’s a mindset.
You’re Allowed to Want More
Many women feel ashamed of wanting more.
More rest.
More meaning.
More connection.
More support.
The Invisible Load: The Work No One Sees
Most of the women I work with are tired from doing so much that no one sees.
Managing moods. Anticipating needs. Soothing tension. Remembering what no one else does. Keeping things running while feeling like you’re falling apart inside.
This is the invisible load. It’s real, and it’s exhausting. And if I’m being honest, I’ve lived it too.
The Deep Exhale: A Summer of Letting Go
This summer, I decided to do something a little different.
Instead of pushing harder, striving more, or trying to keep up with the endless demands of life, I wanted to create space for myself and for the women I work with to simply pause.
To breathe.
To exhale.
To let go.