Stuck in the Chaos

There are moments in life when you know something has to change, but you can’t quite see how.

You feel helpless, restless, or quietly resentful. You tell yourself to be grateful, yet deep down, something feels off.

I’ve felt it in work that didn’t feel worth the time away from my family. I’ve felt it in my own home growing up, wishing different choices would be made but knowing they wouldn’t. I’ve felt it in my marriage; grateful for kindness, but often carrying the weight of the mental load, the decisions, and all the invisible thinking.

Most of us don’t allow ourselves to stay in that feeling for long. We rush to push it down, reminding ourselves that others have it worse, that our problems are small compared to the pain in the world.

But when we carry guilt for our privilege and outrage for everything beyond our control, we end up punishing ourselves twice. Once for feeling stuck and again for daring to feel it at all.

The Loop That Keeps Us Spinning

For some, that leads to shutting down and avoiding.
For others, it shows up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, and control.

I’ve told myself before, If I just do it right, stay calm, keep everyone happy, things will feel better.

If everyone would just do it my way, the world would be a better place, or at least a little less stressful. But control doesn’t create peace. It only keeps us managing the chaos while shrinking under the stress of it all.

These patterns, as comforting as they seem, usually keep us circling the same thoughts instead of returning to clarity.

Small Steps to Shift the Pattern

Here are a few gentle ways to begin:

• Notice when your thoughts are spinning or when you’ve gone down the rabbit hole of bad news, and gently say: I can’t do anything about this right now, and I’m going to let it go. Not forever, just for now.

• Pause long enough to remember that you have a choice. Even if the options feel uncomfortable or impossible, you still have one.

• Choose one small thing that matters to you, something proactive, not reactive, and take one step toward it.

You don’t have to stay stuck.

Take one tiny step: limit the news today, notice the colors around you, or say one thing you normally wouldn’t to be authentically you.

You choose your small step forward. 💛

Reflection Question: What’s one small step that would help you feel a little less stuck today?

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