Not From Here, Not From There

Not From Here, Not From There

There’s a song my son sings that has stayed with me.
“No soy de aquí, no soy de allá.”
I’m not from here, I’m not from there.

We all tear up every time he sings it. There’s something in those lyrics that captures a feeling a lot of people carry, especially when life has stretched across countries and cultures.

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Breaking the Cycle with Compassion

Breaking the Cycle with Compassion

I’ve made it to my fifth country, Taiwan, and a very obvious theme has emerged that I wasn’t expecting. Parenting has come up in conversation again and again.

In my women’s group, we were working through the PQ parenting module, and it took about five minutes for most of us to slide into the same place: the Judge, the shame, the fear that we’re messing our kids up. We had to keep coming back to a simple truth.

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Finding Community
Self-Trust, Personal Growth, Life Transitions Adrienne Vivar Self-Trust, Personal Growth, Life Transitions Adrienne Vivar

Finding Community

I’m writing this from Da Nang, and I’m a little stunned by the connections I’ve made here.

The day I arrived, I came straight from the airport, dropped my bags, and headed to a digital nomads event. The first people I met were a couple I clicked with immediately. We’ve gotten together several times since then, and we’re already talking about meeting up again this time next year and even them coming to see us in Sevilla next spring.

Since then, I’ve gone to a freelancers gathering and met more lovely, creative, like-minded people from all over the world. I’ve had a few really moving, empowering Saboteur Discovery Sessions that have inspired me as much as they’ve helped them.

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Recovering Without Beating Yourself Up
Self-Trust, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar Self-Trust, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar

Recovering Without Beating Yourself Up

I spent a good part of a day debating my next stop, Taiwan or Japan. I went back and forth, and then I opened Meetup and saw a Spanish conversation get-together in Vietnam.

I pictured myself speaking Spanish with others, and it felt like home. Tears sprang to my eyes, and my whole body went, oh that’s it. That’s where I need to be. I felt calm and clear and booked my ticket immediately.

I was so proud of myself for being spontaneous that I skipped the usual checks I normally do. Turns out Vietnam doesn’t have visa on arrival like the other countries I’ve visited. I submitted my application, but it takes 3–5 days, so I wasn’t allowed to board the next day.

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More Than One Right Option
Self-Trust, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar Self-Trust, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar

More Than One Right Option

This week in Chiang Mai reminded me that the trip is going to unfold how it wants to, not how I plan it.

I’ve had a few moments where my inner critic starts telling me that if I’m not out meeting new people every day, I’m not doing what I should be doing.

This past week, I haven’t made many new connections, but I have been deepening relationships that already exist, and I’m realizing how much that matters.

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When Rest Brings Up Guilt
Self-Trust, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar Self-Trust, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar

When Rest Brings Up Guilt

I’m writing this from Singapore, and I started my “tourist” day in the botanic gardens.

I’ve loved these gardens before, so I wanted to return. But when I arrived, I noticed something surprising: I wanted to leave almost immediately. It felt like I was going through the motions, like it was just another “tourist activity” to check off the list instead of something I was actually taking in.

That’s when I realized there was something weighing on me.

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Self-Trust in Practice
Self-Trust, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar Self-Trust, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar

Self-Trust in Practice

I’m writing this from my layover in Istanbul.

I thought I might cry when I walked out the door, but honestly, I’m just so excited, and I know the time will fly by. The train derailment so close to home has been shocking and puts everything into perspective. It’s also made me feel extra grateful and really loved by everyone who wanted to see my face one more time, and by all the care and concern for my safety.

Per usual, the anticipation was worse than the reality. I had a few nights with very little sleep, but now I feel calm and capable. Most of all, I feel grateful.

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Choosing Indepedence and Self-Trust
Self-Trust, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar Self-Trust, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar

Choosing Indepedence and Self-Trust

Starting next week, I’ll be traveling through Asia for what I’m calling my Coaching Connections field study because, this year, I’m choosing more independence and a little more self-trust.

I first had this idea back in July, and it’s been staying with me. The timing feels right. The in-person trainings I’ll lead this year haven’t started yet, and life has a bit more space than it usually does. On a deeper level, I feel genuinely drawn to the places I’m visiting.

I want more independence this year, not just emotionally, but in how I build my life and work. One of my words of the year is visibility, and I’m excited to meet new people, have real conversations, and see how the themes I hear from clients translate across cultures. And I hope I might get to help a few people along the way.

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The Wise Inner Voice
Resilient Mind, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar Resilient Mind, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar

The Wise Inner Voice

There are moments when my mind starts spinning over the smallest things. A detail that isn’t right. A message that didn’t sound how I meant it. A conversation I replay again and again, wishing I’d said something differently.

It’s easy to lose perspective in those moments, especially if, like me, you lean toward perfectionism. The desire to get things right can quickly turn into an urgency that doesn’t match the reality of what’s happening.

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Responding Instead of Absorbing

Responding Instead of Absorbing

There are moments when someone you care about is upset: a partner, a friend, a family member, and before you realize it, their emotion has become yours.

It starts small. A heaviness or tightness in your chest, a sense of resistance or overwhelm creeping in. If it’s intense, maybe even a tension in your gut or a flicker of anxiety.

You want to help. You want to listen with empathy. But somewhere along the way, you begin to carry their feelings as if they were your own.

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Where Acceptance Meets Action

Where Acceptance Meets Action

There are moments when life hands us something we didn’t ask for. A shocking turn of events, a disappointment, a door we thought would stay open.

Our first instinct is to resist it, make it make sense, or look for someone or something to blame.

I’ve done that plenty of times. It’s part of being human. The mind wants stability, a plan, a reason. But not everything can be fixed or forced to go our way.

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Resilient Mind: Creating Calm in the Chaos
Resilient Mind, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar Resilient Mind, Mental Fitness, Personal Growth Adrienne Vivar

Resilient Mind: Creating Calm in the Chaos

I’ve been talking to a lot of people lately. Between my business, newcomers finding their way in Seville, and random coincidences that seem to bring people into my path, I’ve had countless conversations.

What’s clear is that the toll of living in today’s world is real. There are prejudices to confront, life changes to endure, and emotions running high everywhere.

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Every Current Carries Us Somewhere New

Every Current Carries Us Somewhere New

Over the past few months, I’ve written about the in-between, the transitions throughout our lives that challenge us and shape us.

From leaving home and first-time parenting to empty nesting, changing careers, or becoming a caretaker, these shake-ups can make us feel like our world has turned upside down.

We experience identity loss or confusion, frustration, shame, and fear. Yet our lives are made of change and growth. This is how we fully experience being human, how we come to know ourselves more deeply.

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What Our Relationships Teach Us About Ourselves

What Our Relationships Teach Us About Ourselves

Every partnership is made up of two people doing the best they know how, shaped by the stories and survival strategies of their childhoods and lived experiences.

For some, safety meant avoiding conflict, staying quiet, not rocking the boat.
For others, safety meant speaking up, taking control, or fighting back.

Neither is wrong. They’re strengths that once kept us safe.

But over time, those same strategies of perfectionism, avoidance, control, people-pleasing can quietly sabotage our relationships.

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Not Everyone Is Meant to Go With You

Not Everyone Is Meant to Go With You

Friendships shift. Sometimes they fade quietly. Other times they end abruptly, and the loneliness that follows can feel more intense than we expected.

Like most adults, I’ve experienced this many times in life.

When we moved, I felt the loss of closeness and familiarity. I missed the ease and history with the people who had been by my side for years. At the same time, I was grateful to find new friendships, with people from all over the world, of different ages and backgrounds. Rich and meaningful connections.

And still, sometimes I miss what I had before.

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When the House Goes Quiet

When the House Goes Quiet

No matter when it happens, that moment when the house goes quiet hits hard.

For some, it is happening now. For others, it happened years ago, and the feelings still live in their bones.

A few years ago, both of our sons left for university. Nine hours away. At the same time.

I knew it was coming. I had time to prepare. But about two weeks before they left, something broke open in me.

I couldn’t stop crying. Everything felt dark and heavy. I couldn’t be on camera at work because my face showed it all.

The anticipation, for me, was worse than the reality.

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When You Uproot Everything

When You Uproot Everything

Not all of us will walk the same path, but the feelings that come with change (fear, grief, identity shifts) are universal.

Moving abroad was one of the most courageous and terrifying things I’ve ever done.

It was a rollercoaster of emotions. Excitement, dread, pride, guilt, and so much fear, all tangled together.

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