The Gift of Being Understood
Our friends from back home visited us this past week, and it was fantastic.
They were two of our closest friends when we moved away. We still keep in touch, but life keeps moving for all of us. We’ve all made new close friends in our own places, but when we see each other, it feels like no time has passed.
Having them here was so special. There had been several close calls over the years, but they had never been here to visit us in Sevilla. One of my favorite things about people visiting us from back home is getting to show them why we chose this life. It’s one thing to explain it when we visit. It’s another to walk through Sevilla together, eat the food, see the beauty, experience the lifestyle, and meet the community we’ve built here.
When Loving Them Means Letting the Relationship Change
One of the hardest parts of loving an adult child is learning how to stay close while both of you are changing.
My son has been across the ocean the past 6 months and just came here for a visit. It was lovely and bittersweet.
I’m deeply proud of him for testing out his independence, figuring out so much on his own, and building a life that is his. That is exactly what we want for the people we love.
And still, part of the cost of that kind of growth is that the communication changes. That has been hard on all of us, including him.
What It Feels Like to Be Truly Heard
It is striking how refreshing it can feel when someone truly cares about what you are saying and feeling and responds with real presence and thoughtfulness.
I was talking to a friend recently, and I felt this warmth and surprise at how fully present she was with me in the moment. It made me realize how novel that felt.
Seeing the Same Painting Differently
This week, I observed part of a mental health awareness course for teachers. I’ll be leading coaching and leadership courses for this organization, so it was a meaningful way to step back into work.
These were educators, people who spend their days guiding, supporting, and showing up for others. There was a little hesitation at first, but by the end of the week, I was struck by the vulnerability in the room and by how much they seemed to value the chance to connect with peers.
It made me think about how few opportunities many adults have for that. When you are constantly giving your attention, energy, and care to others, there may not be many chances for reflection with your peers or even simple, honest conversation with other adults.
The Way People Find Each Other
I’m home in Sevilla now, and I keep thinking about the way people find each other.
One of my favorite moments of the whole trip happened at a tea farm in Taiwan.
The tour started with just Calvin. He and his parents run an organic tea farm, and he radiated warmth. I liked him immediately.
