Is It Really Okay With You?
One person told me people often come to him when they need someone to listen but rarely listen in return. He insisted he had no resentment and quickly said, "But that's okay. That's just how people are now."
Maybe it really is okay for him. Helping people may genuinely give him energy. But trying to maintain a positive outlook can sometimes keep us from admitting that something doesn't actually feel okay.
People can value us and still not understand the value of our time. Sometimes someone really is being inconsiderate, but I think a lot of the time they simply don't realize what they're asking.
What Envy Might Be Trying to Show You
Sometimes the people we envy are pointing us toward something important.
I’ve been thinking about the people who expand my sense of what’s possible. What grabs my attention is rarely just their success. It is usually something more human than that: a sense of ease in who they are and the feeling that they trust themselves and the life they are building.
Envy can be useful. It can show us where we want to grow, what we want more of, and what feels possible for us too.
What It Feels Like to Be Truly Heard
It is striking how refreshing it can feel when someone truly cares about what you are saying and feeling and responds with real presence and thoughtfulness.
I was talking to a friend recently, and I felt this warmth and surprise at how fully present she was with me in the moment. It made me realize how novel that felt.
Why most New Year's resolutions fail by March
It’s March 31, and by now a lot of New Year’s resolutions have already fizzled out. This recent post from Positive Intelligence caught my attention because it touches on something I see in coaching.
A big part of the problem is what happens the moment we slip. We start chastising ourselves, and the shoulds pile up. The inner critic takes over, and that kind of voice does not motivate us to keep going.
I see this often in coaching. The goal is often not the real issue. It’s what people start saying to themselves when they stop doing it perfectly. That shame, pressure and all-or-nothing thinking tends to get in the way.
If you’ve been talking to yourself harshly about something you wanted to change this year, you are in very good company. It may be worth noticing whether the way you are speaking to yourself is serving you.
Introversion vs Extroversion: It’s About Energy
I can see why people sometimes think I’m an extrovert. I enjoy people, meaningful conversation, and genuine connection.
At the same time, I think people sometimes read openness or social activity level as extroversion, when what matters more is how someone recharges.
You can love people, enjoy community, laugh a lot, host gatherings, and still need a good amount of quiet to feel like yourself again.
