When Loving Them Means Letting the Relationship Change

One of the hardest parts of loving an adult child is learning how to stay close while both of you are changing.

My son has been across the ocean the past 6 months and just came here for a visit. It was lovely and bittersweet.

I’m deeply proud of him for testing out his independence, figuring out so much on his own, and building a life that is his. That is exactly what we want for the people we love.

And still, part of the cost of that kind of growth is that the communication changes. That has been hard on all of us, including him.

When Closeness Starts to Look Different

We have always had a strong connection, and when he moved away, our communication became much more superficial. Part of that is probably just this stage of life. Part of it is that I am not much of a phone person. I love in-person communication, and I think that makes the distance harder on him too.

We were trying to give him space and not bother him, and I think he interpreted some of that as distance. When he and I finally had the difficult phone call, both in tears, and he said that we had always been so close, it broke my heart.

I think that is what makes this stage so hard. He misses being here with us and also enjoys the life he is building there. On my side, I want him to go live fully and figure himself out, and at the same time, I miss what came so easily before.

💛

Reflection Question: If you have adult children, what has been the hardest adjustment for you?

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You can always start with a free Inner Patterns Discovery Session.