When Rest Brings Up Guilt
I’m writing this from Singapore, and I started my “tourist” day in the botanic gardens.
I’ve loved these gardens before, so I wanted to return. But when I arrived, I noticed something surprising: I wanted to leave almost immediately. It felt like I was going through the motions, like it was just another “tourist activity” to check off the list instead of something I was actually taking in.
That’s when I realized there was something weighing on me.
Not loneliness. I actually felt grateful for the freedom of choosing any path I wanted, wandering at my own pace, and not having to make conversation.
When Guilt Interrupts Presence
It was guilt, a slight pressure saying, “Shouldn’t you be working? Why do I get to take the whole day off?” And also, “You owe people their Saboteur Discovery Session recaps.”
Even on a beautiful day out, after an intense few days, that invisible load was humming in my chest.
So I sat down and tried to do a few PQ reps on my own, but I could tell I needed something more. I put my earbuds in and did a 12-minute walking PQ gym session, really noticing the colors and textures around me, the contact points of my feet on the ground, and it shifted everything. I wandered through a quieter part of the gardens, breathing deeply, listening closely, and afterward I felt calm and centered again.
Why Practice Matters More Than Insight
It reminded me of something I’ve been hearing again and again in these sessions.
Most people already have a lot of insight and self-awareness, and the participants I met with this week offered such thoughtful, honest reflections. But lasting change doesn’t come from insight alone. It comes from practicing in small ways, consistently, until your mind and body learn a new default.
No matter where we are, where we’re from, or how we were raised, there are still the same human patterns underneath it all. We all have places where we learned to overuse our strengths to survive, to belong, to succeed, to stay safe. The work is learning when to loosen our grip so we can actually be present in our lives.
💛
Reflection Question: Where are you checking the box lately instead of being fully present, and what might that be telling you?
✨ If this spoke to you, I’d love for you to subscribe to my blog or connect with me on LinkedIn. And if guilt, mental load, or constant “shoulds” are getting in the way of your ability to be present, coaching can help you build the kind of mental fitness that allows you to rest, focus, and enjoy what’s right in front of you.
You can always start with a free Saboteur Discovery Session.
