When Rest Brings Up Guilt
I’m writing this from Singapore, and I started my “tourist” day in the botanic gardens.
I’ve loved these gardens before, so I wanted to return. But when I arrived, I noticed something surprising: I wanted to leave almost immediately. It felt like I was going through the motions, like it was just another “tourist activity” to check off the list instead of something I was actually taking in.
That’s when I realized there was something weighing on me.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰
I used to be an expert at feeling guilt. Not just for the big things, but for everything.
Silly things I said as a kid. Mistakes I made decades ago. Sometimes even with people who aren’t here anymore.
Guilt was my constant companion. For a long time, I thought it made me responsible, caring, good.
But it also made me exhausted. It kept me stuck in cycles of over-apologizing, over-giving, and over-functioning. It whispered, “You should be doing more” or “You shouldn’t have said that.”
