Still Us
In January 2004, I had a new baby and a 3 year old. I had taken 6 months off work and was home with the two of them. I didn’t know anyone else with children, the holidays were over, winter felt endless, and I was losing it a little.
One day I picked up a copy of Tulsa Kids and saw an event for a moms’ club. I decided to go. Of course I was nervous walking in, but one woman came right up and started talking to me. She had a son close to my older son’s age and was so warm that I immediately felt grateful I had come.
Nothing Is Wasted
When “fine” stops being enough, one of the first fears that can pop up is wondering if changing direction means it was all a waste.
Questioning the years of energy dedicated to a career, a home, a role, or a life you once thought you wanted. That fear can keep people stuck for a long time because no one wants to feel foolish or look back and wonder why they spent so much time trying to make something work.
I see this with women who have stayed with one company for years, even when the work no longer fulfills them. I see it with small business owners who have poured so much into an idea that it feels painful to admit it’s time for something else. I see it with people who built the dream home, raised the kids, and then feel confused when a part of them wants something different.
Trying to Figure Out What Comes Next
I’ve had a run of conversations lately with women who are not exactly lost but are trying to figure out what comes next for them.
These women are not lacking skills or experience. They may have worked, raised kids, moved countries, supported partners, adapted, and kept a lot of things moving, but that does not make it easy to answer the question of what comes next.
By midlife, most of them are not looking for work just to stay busy. They’re trying to build a life that fits who they are now, not who they were ten or twenty years ago. That can be uncomfortable because there is rarely a simple path from the life you had before to the one you want now.
