I’ve had several visitors lately, and I noticed something different about myself. I wasn’t nearly as focused on being a constant source of entertainment.
In the past, I could make myself a little crazy planning everything and trying to make sure everyone was having a good time. We’ve actually had visitors tell us afterward that we wore them out because we did too much. For our last visitor, I’m sure we probably seemed a little boring, and I didn't mind.
I still care about being a good host, but I’m getting much better at not reading into every mood and deciding it means I need to fix something. I may not even be interpreting the other person correctly and yet I could still end up reacting as though I know exactly what they’re thinking.
With the holidays coming up, I know how easy it is to start doing this before anyone even arrives. We put so much pressure on ourselves to make everything go well that we can be stressed before the visit even begins. Then, if someone seems unhappy or doesn't react the way we hoped, we can turn that into a judgment about ourselves.
If someone doesn’t have a wonderful time every minute, that doesn’t automatically mean you did something wrong. You can care about how they feel without making yourself responsible for their emotions.
💛
P.S. do we look boring? 😂
Reflection Question: Where might you be taking responsibility for someone else’s mood when it isn’t actually yours to manage?
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