The Invisible Load: The Work No One Sees

Most of the women I work with are tired from doing so much that no one sees.

Managing moods. Anticipating needs. Soothing tension. Remembering what no one else does. Keeping things running while feeling like you’re falling apart inside.

This is the invisible load. It’s real, and it’s exhausting. And if I’m being honest, I’ve lived it too.

What the Invisible Load Looks Like

There were times when I’d get to the end of the day and wonder why I was so exhausted when I hadn’t “done that much.”

But of course I had, just not in a way anyone else could see.

I was managing emotions, mentally tracking and scheduling, replaying conversations, and making sure everything was okay for everyone else.

It took me a long time to even name it.

Naming the Burden

About nine years ago, a good friend sent me a link to a viral thread about unpaid emotional labor.

He warned me before I opened it: this one had led to a lot of disrupted relationships.

And honestly, he was right. It fired me up.

But even then, the guilt was still there. The obligation. The quiet burden that said, “This is just what you do.”

A Gentle Reminder

So if you’re reading this and nodding, I see you.

You don’t have to justify your exhaustion.
You don’t have to wait until it gets worse to name what you’re carrying.

Take a moment right now to pause. Breathe. Let go of the idea that you have to carry it all without breaking.

If no one has said this to you lately:

What you’re carrying is a lot. And you deserve support, not self-judgment.

Reflection Question: Where are you carrying more than anyone realizes?

Coming next: Permission to Want More

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