Is It Really Okay With You?

One person told me people often come to him when they need someone to listen but rarely listen in return. He insisted he had no resentment and quickly said, "But that's okay. That's just how people are now."

Maybe it really is okay for him. Helping people may genuinely give him energy. But trying to maintain a positive outlook can sometimes keep us from admitting that something doesn't actually feel okay.

People can value us and still not understand the value of our time. Sometimes someone really is being inconsiderate, but I think a lot of the time they simply don't realize what they're asking.

If you're good at something and always say yes, people may assume it's easy for you. Being generous with your time can make people think you have plenty, and you'll speak up when you've had enough. They may appreciate you and still have no idea that what feels like a small favor to them takes hours of your time.

What Resentment Can Tell Us

Resentment can be useful information. It can tell us that we've been giving more than we wanted to give, that something we're doing is taking more time or energy than people realize, or that we've been hoping someone would notice what we haven't actually said.

That doesn't make the other person a bad person. It doesn't mean we should blame ourselves either. Instead of blame, it’s worth asking: Is this really okay with me, or have I just gotten very good at saying it is?

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Reflection Question: Where in your life might you be saying something is okay when it actually isn’t?

✨ If this spoke to you, I’d love for you to subscribe to my blog or connect with me on LinkedIn. And if you’re noticing resentment, over-giving, or difficulty speaking up about what you need, coaching can help you understand what’s underneath it and practice setting clearer boundaries without so much guilt.