What Envy Might Be Trying to Show You
Sometimes the people we envy are pointing us toward something important.
I’ve been thinking about the people who expand my sense of what’s possible. What grabs my attention is rarely just their success. It is usually something more human than that: a sense of ease in who they are and the feeling that they trust themselves and the life they are building.
Envy can be useful. It can show us where we want to grow, what we want more of, and what feels possible for us too.
Why most New Year's resolutions fail by March
It’s March 31, and by now a lot of New Year’s resolutions have already fizzled out. This recent post from Positive Intelligence caught my attention because it touches on something I see in coaching.
A big part of the problem is what happens the moment we slip. We start chastising ourselves, and the shoulds pile up. The inner critic takes over, and that kind of voice does not motivate us to keep going.
I see this often in coaching. The goal is often not the real issue. It’s what people start saying to themselves when they stop doing it perfectly. That shame, pressure and all-or-nothing thinking tends to get in the way.
If you’ve been talking to yourself harshly about something you wanted to change this year, you are in very good company. It may be worth noticing whether the way you are speaking to yourself is serving you.
Introversion vs Extroversion: It’s About Energy
I can see why people sometimes think I’m an extrovert. I enjoy people, meaningful conversation, and genuine connection.
At the same time, I think people sometimes read openness or social activity level as extroversion, when what matters more is how someone recharges.
You can love people, enjoy community, laugh a lot, host gatherings, and still need a good amount of quiet to feel like yourself again.
Loving Yourself Unconditionally
How many of us can truly say we have deep love for ourselves with no strings attached. Many of us believe we need to do more or achieve more before we are worthy of that kind of love. We need to get the degree, get the promotion, get the partner, save this much money.
On top of that, we often take that self-criticism or impossible standards and apply it to others. And we see that pattern in the people around us too.
If the world feels short on empathy, maybe the place to start is with ourselves.
The Wise Inner Voice
There are moments when my mind starts spinning over the smallest things. A detail that isn’t right. A message that didn’t sound how I meant it. A conversation I replay again and again, wishing I’d said something differently.
It’s easy to lose perspective in those moments, especially if, like me, you lean toward perfectionism. The desire to get things right can quickly turn into an urgency that doesn’t match the reality of what’s happening.
Responding Instead of Absorbing
There are moments when someone you care about is upset: a partner, a friend, a family member, and before you realize it, their emotion has become yours.
It starts small. A heaviness or tightness in your chest, a sense of resistance or overwhelm creeping in. If it’s intense, maybe even a tension in your gut or a flicker of anxiety.
You want to help. You want to listen with empathy. But somewhere along the way, you begin to carry their feelings as if they were your own.
What Our Relationships Teach Us About Ourselves
Every partnership is made up of two people doing the best they know how, shaped by the stories and survival strategies of their childhoods and lived experiences.
For some, safety meant avoiding conflict, staying quiet, not rocking the boat.
For others, safety meant speaking up, taking control, or fighting back.
Neither is wrong. They’re strengths that once kept us safe.
But over time, those same strategies of perfectionism, avoidance, control, people-pleasing can quietly sabotage our relationships.
