Choosing Peace Over Perfection
This time of year (which I genuinely adore) has always been a mix of pure joy and running myself into the ground. I loved the lights, the magic, the relaxed days at work, making cookies and Chex Mix with my kids, and watching our stack of holiday movies.
But I was also dealing with a whole lot of self-imposed pressure. December became a race to make everything perfect. Planning and buying gifts for both sides, doing all the work for a holiday card no one else in my house cared about, visiting multiple families in a day.
Working extra hours so I could take time off with my kids. Living through the first holidays after losing my parents and sticking around out of obligation when I wanted to be anywhere but home. Year-end reviews. It was exhausting, and it didn’t have to be.
The Mental Load of December
December has a way of piling on. So many friends and clients I know approach December feeling some combination of tired, anxious, or just overwhelmed.
They are often the one who notices what everyone needs, keeps the calendar straight, plans the gifts, handles the food, and tries to create something meaningful for everyone. Others might be happy to help when asked, but the thinking part, the remembering part, that lives with them.
Quieting the Inner Critic
I have a strong inner critic.
The judge in my mind is quick, especially when it comes to me.
I’m a perfectionist. A pleaser. A bit of a controller too. For a long time, I thought those traits were just part of being responsible.
But they also kept me tense, hyper-aware, and endlessly self-critical.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰
I used to be an expert at feeling guilt. Not just for the big things, but for everything.
Silly things I said as a kid. Mistakes I made decades ago. Sometimes even with people who aren’t here anymore.
Guilt was my constant companion. For a long time, I thought it made me responsible, caring, good.
But it also made me exhausted. It kept me stuck in cycles of over-apologizing, over-giving, and over-functioning. It whispered, “You should be doing more” or “You shouldn’t have said that.”
The Deep Exhale: A Summer of Letting Go
This summer, I decided to do something a little different.
Instead of pushing harder, striving more, or trying to keep up with the endless demands of life, I wanted to create space for myself and for the women I work with to simply pause.
To breathe.
To exhale.
To let go.
